11:45 pm

“Now, how was my day?”

I entered the chapel during my second hour in school because I haven’t had the time to go first thing since I arrived with a minute to spare before my first subject. I only got two mistakes in my assignment wherein half of one half of our class got a hundred. I perfected my assignment in my major with the help of my friends, of course. Today’s our deadline for the articles and I was lucky to have passed one…out of three.

So how was my day really? I’ve had so much to be thankful and to rejoice to. I know I can’t do such an achievement every day! It should be a must for me to be happy as to how my day went through. I learned, got good scores, and slightly beat the deadline. But why can’t I laugh? Is something not fit or lacking that I could have done a while ago…maybe I was a second too late to realize what I must do? All I know is that I can’t consider this day done without realizing how worth it today is. Maybe it’s not about failing to do something but having done the same things that I should have avoided.

As I tried hard to keep silent while processing my brain, a lot of revelation splashed like big waves in my memory. I remember laughing too loud early in the morning with my friends. Broke my own promise not to talk during class hours. Feeling insecure and anxious especially when my crush is so near I can blow him a love potion in his newly trimmed hair. Yes, I do these embarrassing things and I feel inferior and ashamed every time I realize I have crossed the boundary. What makes it worst is that these are usual things I do every day. These are the things I keep on cursing away before I go to sleep and unknowingly do them as I start my day. How ironic is it to walk far away only to realize there’s a tunnel that led to the same room. I am trapped and my mind is so desperate that I can’t think of any possible solutions to successfully become a new person.

In order to avoid getting lost twice, never go to the same route again. However, I am really dumb in reading signs because I often neglect the word “No Entry, Stupid” in the corner. It seems like I am used at the place that avoiding it makes my day incomplete! I don’t really care if I can’t bring back the twenty four hours to renew what I have done because every thing has its purpose. So how was my day? Well, it’s like yesterday and the next day.