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Run Fast yet Slowly

Night, Oh Night

In this sweet and silent moment I lie

Now, I have the moment to think about myself

Won’t care about the world for it already caused me a lot of pain

 

But Dreams, my Dreams

Should you be willing, I beg you to comfort me in my sleep

That even if for some moments I can fantasy on what is imaginary

Through your lies and creativity, let me escape the bitter reality

 

Love, my One True Love

Why are you so far away and not even miles within my reach?

Even if it’s so hard I wonder if you’re feeling the distance between us

Yet, the bud of my love will continue to bloom as the golden time runs fast

 

Juliet, sleep Sweet Juliet

For a moment take a rest and let the world go on with it’s business

Cause no matter how much you worry, practically all those things don’t concern you

You have much more to take care of – listen to your heart that remains true!

 

Time, listen to me Dearest Time

I am but a servant who is dependent on your movements

Please be fast so I may forget these weary and let my love return in an instant

But keep it slow, for I may not have much rest for tonight to end my sorrow

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Goodbye and Hello

Baby, it has almost been four months since then

And I still want to replay the mem’ries over and over again

I know they’re not too many to count

But those are the best that I have found

 

Maybe what made our love so sweet

Is because we started as friends, you and me

That’s why our closeness is hard to defeat

Our love grew deeper, deeper than the deepest sea

 

But I’m sorry if it was so sudden

My goodbye was indeed a burden

I wasn’t supposed to but I didn’t know what to do

I just have to find myself back to get back to you

 

I know you don’t understand because I’m so abstract

But I hope that by the language of our hearts, you can keep track

Coz honestly I can’t afford to lose you, my love

That’s why I can’t lose myself first because I’m offering it for you to have

 

Don’t ever say that it’s all because of you

It’s never been the reason cause I love you so

Blame it on me and curse me in every way you can

But after all, in the end, you will still and always be my man

 

Cry because you deserve to be hurt for what I did

But don’t cry because you lose me coz you have me still

My love will never waver and I hope yours would too

Cause by saying goodbye, I mean to say a new HELLO.

MINE

Now I wasn’t supposed to love you, was I?

“I can’t love you cause I am madly in love with someone and maybe… well just maybe, I needed some company and you comforted me in those times.”

Don’t mind it, it’s my brain… not me. Well, my brain is a part of me so logically speaking – yeah, I said them. But honestly, I didn’t want to. My brain is working tricks on me again and it makes me think about things better left forgotten. I am sorry. It’s Christmas and I don’t want to ruin the season but holidays or no holidays, I don’t want to ruin what we have right now. I am very much guilty for still rewinding the past when it shouldn’t have to be part of the present especially between us. Again, my brain is the one responsible and I own my brain which makes me the more responsible here. But so as my heart, and my heart is the most important part of me, and my heart says something else.

I can’t hear a beat but I feel it yearning for your presence. Especially now that you are so so far away, baby. It makes me even feel that you are so close to me than you ever had. I just miss your laughs and your silly gestures when you laugh. 😀 I’ve never been this close and happy with someone. Tell you what, when we’re together, the sense of contentment always whispers in my ear and pierce me straightly to my heart. It really feels good, you know. I hope you feel the same, even if I have my lapses especially those you noticed and most especially to the ones I haven’t showed you yet. How I wish you could feel my mistakes towards you, no not mistakes but betrayals… the secret ones so that I don’t have to gain courage to tell you personally. But I want you to know that I love you and I…

 

“I still love him. That boy who gave me nothing but pain. Especially now, he’s got a new girl… I can’t look them in the eyes when they’re together…”

 

My brain. Again… I swear, it got nothing to do with us. Maybe I got used to telling myself how useless and worthless I am that someone had dared to reject me. That’s just how it is, and it has nothing to do with what we are now. This is different. I know it’s confusing and I don’t want you to fully understand what I’m going through but I am hoping you’ll bare with my moodiness. Cause I love you. When I see how love works to others, it makes me think how lucky I am to have you. You’re honest and very gentleman and I don’t deserve the love you’re giving me. But I love you.

I know what we’ve been through is so tough. And what matters most is the present, I love you but I cannot unfall for him but I love you. And I can love you more every single day and it would be just how it is. You’re special and I can’t not think of you and everything you do cause you’re different and you’re mine. 

The BIG “What If’s?”

There are some matters in this world which started from a simple speculation of how things work. For example, the existence of kindness and evil came from how men classified the actions of man based on the impacts that each represents. Giving alms to the poor shows good results so we say it is kindness and the latter is termed so because slapping someone on the face seems too violent in our perceptions. But how can we really say that the former is better than the latter? Was there any concrete form of law from the ancient times stating the verifiability of these speculations? None, as far as we’re told. But these things are accepted because human reasons involve processes and principles that give us not the exact but the “ultimate” and possible way of explaining things.

Therefore, every human is capable of thinking in any way about how the world and life go. So, try to reflect on these two possible “what if’s” I’ve created randomly. Well, to give you cues, I thought of the first one during Mass and the second when I woke up from sleep, amazing right? 😀

 

1.) Death. First of all, what is death? In my own understanding, death can imply both physically and spiritually. You can be dead spiritually but not physically or the other way around. Some are afraid to face death because we perceived it to be painful or dark. Some are not ready because they are afraid of what’s in it. Of course, nobody came back from the dead in order to give us clues on how we should venture into the new world we are entering. Death is something that happens to the ones who have a weak body and are suffering from illness. Some also says that death comes to those who have done nothing good here on earth while others ask why the good ones die first.

WHAT IF death is something more than rests and uselessness? During the homily of the priest during the second Sunday of Advent, he mentioned about becoming ready for the coming of God and that we should repent in order to be prepared on the death that is to come. Then suddenly, out from nowhere, I came to think that death is not about pain and fear. It’s about getting ready and prepared for the kingdom of God. Death is having a speck of idea or a glimpse of how heaven is.

For example, a man on the verge of crossing the streets randomly think of something so wonderful about an abstract idea that he cannot name and suddenly he thinks of getting to that place. Then a car hit him because the driver was drunk. It wasn’t an accident, wasn’t it? He was prepared and he knew something that any busy people could’ve thought instead of meeting deadlines and stuffs. Nobody can ask him what he thought in the last minute of his life, can there? He was far lucky than how we imagined he would be because of the tragic death that ended his life. Even criminals and other bad guys we knew can have the authority to think about heaven because they are humans and heaven is not limited to those who do good.

Heaven. We don’t know what it really is. Words can play a hundred of images inside our heads. And if someone could’ve seen or had the exact idea of what it is, they’re probably not here by now. Who knows, right? They are more prepared than how we imagined they’d be.

 

2) How can you say that you’ve found the person you should be with? I personally do not believe in soul mates and meant-to-Be’s that’s why I gave a speculation that no couple in this world are the exact pairs. Well, I really don’t know cause I also sound bitter actually. 😀

WHAT IF soul mates are two persons who have the same souls… exactly the same souls. Their lives are so connected that their life span are also the same as their pair? So, if one dies, so as the other half. I’m not talking about having the same birth dates or something, just their endings. You can never really tell because there are billions of people out there and it will surely be long enough to find that person who will share his/her life with you that’s why you go for the person who answered your prayers and so many questions on how you interpreted love. It’s amazing to think that when someone dies then another one (far from each other) also dies because they are related to each other… they’re soul mates who haven’t found each other.

 

Anyways, you can agree or not with these two ideas. I repeat that they are only speculations and I don’t intend to persuade you or something but just share the things that I thought could be possible in any way. 🙂

Life Is

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Life is a cycle of repeated events. That’s why it’s commonly called: the circle of life. We get to experience this life in a short time, true. But in a very little moment, we experience numerous events which teach us different lessons. Life is complex and it surely is amazing.

Memories make life worth living. We live in order to grab opportunities which will later on be in a form of achievements, disappointments, or even random adventure we’ve encountered in the past. God gave us the ability to remember in order to realize how wonderful His gift is every time we recall the things we did yesterday. Though it’s true to say that yesterday is already a history but it wouldn’t be so without today. And in turn, today wouldn’t soon be a history without tomorrow. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are three relevant things. Their importance is all equal to each other and we have to cherish these different times of our lives.

We don’t always have the spare to time to do all the things in just one instance. If you have to say sorry to someone or thank the person you wish to show gratitude to – do it now. Priorities don’t matter if you really mean every actions and decisions you make. Same goes with loving or hating someone: love and hate are co-existent with each other. You won’t know how to love when you don’t know how it is to hate. But surely, you can love the person you hate and hate the person you once loved. What’s important is you’ve come to love that person in the best way that you can. Showing efforts is much greater than saying promising words wherein some are only empty swears.

See life in a different view every day in order to experience the different sides of it. Life has many dimensions and it’s your choice to discover all of it. The most important thing is, always remember the essence of living because nobody knows how you interpret the beauty of life except you.

Sir :)

Love doesn’t come easy

Sometimes it’s sweet and makes us happy

But there are the dark sides of it

Please bear with me a little bit

I LOVE YOU, just so you know

Tell me what’s the best thing to do, I’d follow

Boy my heart’s in chaos and I feel so alone

Can’t you even let me hear your voice on the phone?

The people I know is so against us

They just won’t let me explain and continue to make a fuss

I must say they are jealous or just judgmental

But my love for you will not waver, sorry for being so sentimental

I know the bond we have grew incredibly fast

It’s like magic that I’m sure would last

Please don’t go away and hold my hand

Without you I’m incomplete, I hope you understand

They say you’re a serious type of guy

And you’re that man who would make me cry

They don’t know you the way I do

Don’t worry Sir, their words can’t make me blue

You and your traits may make them judge you

For me, they are the things that make me love you

I miss you and every day I come to realize

There’s no holding back, for you I would fight

Behind the Tremors

Many historical churches were damaged during the 7.2 magnitude earthquake that rocked Central Visayas today.

At exactly 8:12 in the morning of the October 15, 2013, the entire residents of Bohol and Cebu (two big islands in the Visayan regions) were panicked when all of a sudden a quake came like a strong wave in the land. The earthquake freaked out everyone since it lasted for 35 seconds without even lessening its intensity.

Every person who experienced that accident had their different reactions that some eventually became a laughing stock after the incident. Many of my neighbors sighted their prayers while waiting for the tremor to stop. However, all I can do was to watch the swaying wires outside while I stood up below our doorstep. I didn’t even mention any prayer because I don’t know what to say then, I was afraid. Did I lose my faith at that instance? I think so, it feels so bad.

The quake was a different issue, what surprised me more was when I heard that four old churches in Bohol and Cebu collapsed during the calamity: one in Loon and Looc Bohol, one in Cebu city and one in Talisay city. I felt goose bumps all over when I saw the damages – the structures were torn into half. These churches were one of the oldest churches in the archipelago. They are the 16th and 17th century evidences of the long-lasting faith of the Filipinos. But what happened to them?

What happened to them was what’s happening to the people coming inside them to attend Mass – the faith believers. When I heard one reporter telling on-air that nobody got hurt when the Loon church collapsed because there were not much people inside – was I suppose to be happy? With the fact that nobody got hurt, yes I am thankful but because there were no people inside it is something I can’t accept. Why? We, people of God, had lessened doing our duties because we are becoming addicted to the material things we create. We are becoming obsessed with the temporary and expensive devices in this generation. We forgot the essence of life, to serve God.

This month is the Rosary month, are there many evidences that we are praying the rosary? It’s funny when we give messages to our loved ones telling them to pray after the incident but not because God has given us a new chance to live. Think people, THINK!

Now that these historical buildings were already fallen, does this mean that we are fallen as well? Folks, keep the faith. I hate to say this but isn’t it a coincidence that the Year of Faith is coming to an end and then this devastation happened? Let us not lose hope! Don’t make these churches a replica of the ruined spirit that each of us carry today. We can still change and correct our mistake. Make God the center of everything – of your family, your home, and most especially of yourself.

This isn’t about the earthquake that can possibly end our world. It’s all about keeping our faith to continue our journey even if the earth faces its end.

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He is Romeo. My Romeo

            Honestly, I never read the whole story of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet but when I met him, I guess there’s no need to open the book and understand the tragedy the couple ended with.

            I remember the first time I saw him, it was in the chapel. I didn’t know he is to be my classmate then, I just knew that I will know him. Yup, I am not kidding.

            I’ve come to know him since I’ve been a close friend of his best friend. I thought he is a serious type of guy but as time passes by I realized that indeed he is a serious one but with a sense of humor as well. The first time I took notice of him was when I heard him sing. Moreover, the way he cares for his friend is noteworthy as well.

            We came from different groups though. And even if there is no feud against his and my circle of friends, the thing is, I and his best friend quite had a little romance with each other and I even think that I am too lucky to have him (his friend) as my lover. But things didn’t go the way they should be or the way I wanted them to be. Eventually, we parted in summer.

            He was there all the while. When I was busy thinking of the man who broke my heart, he was there to make me laugh and joke around. During the time I ask him questions about his friend, he was ready with answers. One scene that I can’t forget was when he gave me the song list that I ask him to make and he suddenly pointed one song at the second page which happened to be my favorite song then. What made him do it, I keep on wondering. Fate? Coincidence? Who cares? Of course, I care. I want to know the reasons.

            During that summertime when I was left broken and depressed, he was the one who fed me with smiles and reasons to face that painful reality. Yes, by and by I felt that I am becoming better because he gave me the strength then. However, after some time, he too disappeared out of the blue. I was surprised and I was hurt but at that time I keep in mind that there’s nothing to be hurt about since he was only a friend… a special one.

            Like Romeo and Juliet, they have their own season to bloom. Like flowers left in the field, they will grow with love and trust. I guess it happened to us though I’m really not sure when. What’s important is, it happened J

            I don’t know about him, but even before we had the time to spend many moments together, I was already attracted to him. Who wouldn’t get attached to the person who mended your heart during that cold summer days? I even remember some of my friends who share with me their different opinions about him and all I can do is nod and console their one-sided love affair. I didn’t know I’ll be joining the group soon.

            We were happy with the closeness that we share. Even if we’re too close to be called as friends as what my friends say, there was no stain of malice in my conscience because I know that’s how he treats everyone, right?

            But my concerned friends warn me with the danger that I’m putting myself into. They said that if I continue what I started, everyone will look at me differently and I would also be hurting him in the process. I don’t want that.

            The affair I had with his friend was a happy thing for me then but I didn’t know it would cause such severe damage into what I am currently into. I know that if I respond to what I truly feel, it would bring issues and judgments from the eyes around us. What would he think of me then? What if he’ll realize what kind of girl I was like what the others see me to be? I don’t want to think of the aftermath, it’ll surely hurt.

            Though I didn’t know what he sees in me. Even if it’s too absurd to understand the idea of him falling for me, I hate to ask him why. I’m afraid that he’ll find out that what he feels was just because of the time we spent together that I’m sure he didn’t experience with other girls because I have been too selfish of consuming his time. Now, I’m trapped between what’s supposed to be and what will make me happy.

            Everyone and every circumstance around us are so wrong.  One says do what makes me happy while the others think of what will keep us safe. I don’t know what’s against it. Why can’t they let me love the person they say I can’t be with? It’s my heart, not theirs. However, thinking of the possibilities, it’s true that it won’t be good in the end. But who knows, right?

            Romeo died for his love of Juliet. Will he do the same?

            Juliet sacrificed everything for Romeo. Can I even dare?

            No matter how much time I ponder on the best course to take, all I see is his face – the smiling face of Romeo, my Romeo.

 

 

Closure

He’s fun, sweet, and honest

Treats you like a princess

Wraps his arms around you sometimes

And holds your hand in hard times

Isn’t it sweet when he stays late?

When we’re both together and makes my heart beat at a fast rate

He makes my affection rule over me

But thinking I’m special is a foolish guarantee

Why?

Cause he cares for other girls the same way

And they’re telling me I’m giving my imagination too much sway

What am I to do to control myself,

Shall I keep my love in the corner of a shelf?

He’s just a friendly guy, I think

And his care for me can fade as fast as a wink

Yes, to say I’m special is to say I’m a fool

Whenever I see him with other girls, it’s just so cruel

I get jealous but I know it’s wrong

Since other girls feel the same sad song

Whenever they see us together

It’s a funny game I can’t play better

A girl in love is a girl with patience

I must be fueled with the spirit of acceptance

He said I’m easy to get, that’s what I heard

Okay, tell it to me personally until it hurts

FOR YOU, MY JULIET

Can’t sleep in this silent night

Listening on my lone radio

Wishing the thought of you

Would come pass by my mind

 

Tonight, I can’t make it to the moon

We’ll just wait for the sun to come out soon

But I will still hold you tight

While we sleep through the whole night

 

Don’t know what I want to do

Maybe lie in bed, or hang upside down

Or maybe just shout to the world

Tell them how much I love you

 

Wherever you may go and all that you will see

You’re not alone, you never will be

Just keep in mind that wherever you are

I’ll always be there like a shooting star

 

Now, I will just take my time

And make sure that this feeling is right

Instead of staying up all night

I’ll just write you a poem with all my heart

 

Every second, every hour, and every minute we get

You know that I won’t regret

Cause you’re stuck like a melody playing inside my head

But you’re the kind of song that I don’t want to forget

 

My Princess,

How come you entered my mind while I was daydreaming?

And in the blink of an eye, you just disappeared

Like a dust in thin air, without me knowing

 

Please don’t hurt me no more

Cause every time the rain comes, your name just pops out

And suddenly my heart is on the ground, searching for you

Since you are my Juliet, I will be your Romeo