Tag Archive: college


LOVE IS

I once thought of a four-dimensioned love. Yet, I found out there’s just so many dimensions of love out there. But since i can’t waste my time gathering all these dimensions, I managed to compile into a one short love story the four dimensions I’m so proud to come up with. Enjoy reading!

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He is Romeo. My Romeo

            Honestly, I never read the whole story of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet but when I met him, I guess there’s no need to open the book and understand the tragedy the couple ended with.

            I remember the first time I saw him, it was in the chapel. I didn’t know he is to be my classmate then, I just knew that I will know him. Yup, I am not kidding.

            I’ve come to know him since I’ve been a close friend of his best friend. I thought he is a serious type of guy but as time passes by I realized that indeed he is a serious one but with a sense of humor as well. The first time I took notice of him was when I heard him sing. Moreover, the way he cares for his friend is noteworthy as well.

            We came from different groups though. And even if there is no feud against his and my circle of friends, the thing is, I and his best friend quite had a little romance with each other and I even think that I am too lucky to have him (his friend) as my lover. But things didn’t go the way they should be or the way I wanted them to be. Eventually, we parted in summer.

            He was there all the while. When I was busy thinking of the man who broke my heart, he was there to make me laugh and joke around. During the time I ask him questions about his friend, he was ready with answers. One scene that I can’t forget was when he gave me the song list that I ask him to make and he suddenly pointed one song at the second page which happened to be my favorite song then. What made him do it, I keep on wondering. Fate? Coincidence? Who cares? Of course, I care. I want to know the reasons.

            During that summertime when I was left broken and depressed, he was the one who fed me with smiles and reasons to face that painful reality. Yes, by and by I felt that I am becoming better because he gave me the strength then. However, after some time, he too disappeared out of the blue. I was surprised and I was hurt but at that time I keep in mind that there’s nothing to be hurt about since he was only a friend… a special one.

            Like Romeo and Juliet, they have their own season to bloom. Like flowers left in the field, they will grow with love and trust. I guess it happened to us though I’m really not sure when. What’s important is, it happened J

            I don’t know about him, but even before we had the time to spend many moments together, I was already attracted to him. Who wouldn’t get attached to the person who mended your heart during that cold summer days? I even remember some of my friends who share with me their different opinions about him and all I can do is nod and console their one-sided love affair. I didn’t know I’ll be joining the group soon.

            We were happy with the closeness that we share. Even if we’re too close to be called as friends as what my friends say, there was no stain of malice in my conscience because I know that’s how he treats everyone, right?

            But my concerned friends warn me with the danger that I’m putting myself into. They said that if I continue what I started, everyone will look at me differently and I would also be hurting him in the process. I don’t want that.

            The affair I had with his friend was a happy thing for me then but I didn’t know it would cause such severe damage into what I am currently into. I know that if I respond to what I truly feel, it would bring issues and judgments from the eyes around us. What would he think of me then? What if he’ll realize what kind of girl I was like what the others see me to be? I don’t want to think of the aftermath, it’ll surely hurt.

            Though I didn’t know what he sees in me. Even if it’s too absurd to understand the idea of him falling for me, I hate to ask him why. I’m afraid that he’ll find out that what he feels was just because of the time we spent together that I’m sure he didn’t experience with other girls because I have been too selfish of consuming his time. Now, I’m trapped between what’s supposed to be and what will make me happy.

            Everyone and every circumstance around us are so wrong.  One says do what makes me happy while the others think of what will keep us safe. I don’t know what’s against it. Why can’t they let me love the person they say I can’t be with? It’s my heart, not theirs. However, thinking of the possibilities, it’s true that it won’t be good in the end. But who knows, right?

            Romeo died for his love of Juliet. Will he do the same?

            Juliet sacrificed everything for Romeo. Can I even dare?

            No matter how much time I ponder on the best course to take, all I see is his face – the smiling face of Romeo, my Romeo.

 

 

It’s Too Cliché and I’ve Outgrown It

I can hear their cheers and sweet love gags dominating the once silent room. The weight of somebody’s stare from my left side then to my right and the faces I see right in front of me don’t just bother but give me goose bumps in every tick. I’ve been used to being a modest person and the last attention-seeker in this entire group so I keep my head bent down in order to hide the blushing of my cheeks. My two seatmates who are suppose to be the first ones to understand the level of my humility are not attracted by my sudden silence; instead they kept on pushing me with their shoulders and cheered with the group. To be in a hot seat with someone you consider special is something that seldom happens and I thought it would never take place. It is a moment of shame and attention; a time every girl in love wishes to have; but for me, it is a time for an end.

Everything is already too familiar. It’s been months when I last heard someone saying “ayeeee” and “you’re good together” that is addressed to me. Honestly I hear them all the time but aside from the fact that these praises aren’t for me anymore, the words are alien to me as well. Everything took place when we first shared the same class, professors, and activities. I can also consider that we also shared the same experiences – a lot of them. I can still remember the feelings of shyness yet victory when our professor called us together to answer a certain problem on the board. It was the first time I felt that proud just because of the silly idea of being with someone answering in the front. It was when everything changed between the two of us; we became what others can’t term as well – when you’re not lovers yet more than friends.

I can’t imagine how huge a part of me I would have lost if that moment failed to take place. We were happy then and much happier not because everyone knows about “us” but we knew that we found something – like we are taking a firm hold of each other’s existence because it’s worth holding to.

Every day is a mysterious one. I wake up thinking if today’s the last day I would enjoy calling you mine because I know there is no bond and even the thinnest tie isn’t knotting us together. So I enjoy every moment I spent with you and making sure it’s something I wouldn’t regret in the end [something I’ve proven wrong in the later days].  No wonder I was so open and obvious of how I feel, I didn’t know what to do then or how. It was the first time the best of my best was exerted in the hope that in that effort I can make us realize that we should be together or if not, just to save what we have. Yes I agree, I was being desperate.

I remember what you’re friend told me, “It’s like you’re the guy here”. Now I know what your friend meant. The thought didn’t come to me until later when you finally decided to end it. I was the one doing the efforts, hoping for a progress, and waiting for you to keep phase. You fooled me by fooling yourself that you love me when actually infatuation captured your sense of understanding the thin line between what’s and what’s not. Those moments when I feel like you don’t know me because you look away when I seek for your attention then there are moments you give me your time and making me feel like I’m the only one that matters. I was so confused then, but not now. I wasted my time making mark-it-to-my-calendar moments with you because when you left without a word you made me realize that you never felt what you showed me. Everything was a lie, but it was a generous one. You deserve a big “THANK YOU”.

For once, that first moment our puppy infatuation blossomed just by standing in a platform and simply appreciating the beauty of intellect and fame was the best jiffy I luckily experienced. I kept on rerunning it during random times and still I feel the same heartbeat that only arises when I think about you – unexplainable. Today, hearing what I heard months ago; seeing the same faces with their sweet smiles; and feeling the same atmosphere is too cliché. It’s like I’ve been brought back to the past to warn me of what happened after that instance. The struggles, false hopes, and everything worth forgetting; I don’t want to experience them all over again.

So I stood up, smiles out though I really wanted to [for a different reason now]. I walk without looking at the faces because I might flip at how supportive they are at this “duo” and I might ignore the warning and let this momentous event repeat itself. This was the exact time when we started, this will be the end.

Three In One

June 5, 2013 – First day of my second year in college. As expected, students spent the day touring around the campus and not to mention…sightseeing of new faces!

As for me, well, I spent the “day” quiet differently. I have organized it and made three sections during my first day. And these are :

Regular – Of course, as what everyone must, I entered each subjects [though teachers weren’t still present] and I was with my three talkative and anti-boredom dudes!

Duty not on Duty – Weird title, eh? I am also a campus journalist in our university and I spent my afternoon in the office [honestly, I was doing nothing more than thinking any comfortable position for me to sleep because I was so sleepy -_-].

Final Say – My high school family and some friends went to console our TVE teacher because her husband died. Sir ****** was so close to us also that’s why we were there and attended a mass for his soul. Rest in peace Sir.

 

A/N : No pictures. Never had the chance to provide for visual evidences to say that this is a good day for me. 🙂

 

Second Year

Yes! Tomorrow will be our university’s enrollment day for the incoming second year students. Time passes by so so so quickly in college. Some factors I consider is because of the two semesters which some freshmen treat one semester as a one whole school year already. The next thing is the adjusting process of the students that they cover a lot of time adapting the new environment. Lastly, the fast phase of the lessons which are obviously more advance than the method used during the previous stages of education.

I am a sophomore already! Wish this will be a very good year to me. 🙂 God bless us all students!