Tag Archive: Shakespeare

To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern

Sometimes we say that other people’s dramas are very silly until we experience them ourselves. Indeed, experience will teach you the best lessons in life and it is true that its effect on you is immeasurable – it can change a character. You wouldn’t pay a penny for it to educate you on things that you need to learn most. It comes for free if you take it financially but it’s the attitude and emotion that you’ll be putting at risk. So here’s a hint: I’m going to share my life’s drama and you will be reading a series of heartaches and queries that you might think would be silly for today. But remember that just like what you’re thinking at this moment, I thought the same thing before.

“When will I learn…”

I kept on asking myself that question that my brain is abusing me too much cause even when I’m busy talking or when I’m dodging cars in crossing the street – it’s always ringing in my head. But the thing is that I don’t know what I mean every time I ask myself such question. It can mean a lot of things and what immediately goes inside my head are the problems that keep on bothering me at night… health, college, boyfriend and friends. But to be specific, I can actually change these broad problems into: bad diet, difficult exams, pride and envy, respectively. That’s my life and as for now its how it’s going to be for the next few months I think. I keep on making problems and worry about them the entire day but I guess that without this habit my life would be boring. Maybe it’s how God says to me that he still cares because every time I think about problems I get to hope that He will be there telling me that it’s all part of His plans. Then all of a sudden, everything feels fine to me.

I can bear the fears and aches… for a while. I can forget about the exact things that piss me off for an hour or so. I got to have a time to be free and happy or pretend that I’m not at the end of my confidence level to move on with life. My dad taught me how to get the best out of everything and every day I am trying and every time I try, I realize that I can’t be that person who makes the best out of what she’s given. I hate it but there’s something missing in my life. A hole that needs to be mended and it’s been there for a while that I got used on the pain it inflicts on me. I got numb and I lost track.

My mother was brave when she labored me at her teenage years. I was always amazed at how strong she were when she brought me out to this world that I believed that she also delivered a healthy and strong daughter with her. Well, I guess the strength she was supposed to give me remained in her womb and may have been passed to my other siblings (lucky for them). I am weak and I envy those who can face their problems. I can be the best sometimes but when it’s time for my sail to encounter the storm – I don’t know how to fight. It’s always one of my wishes that someday I can be like the other people I knew who remained firm even though they are on the edge. If I were on a cliff, I would’ve jump out of fear by then.

But maybe I wasn’t so weak after all. I get to learn important values from my own observations and experiences. One thing is that life is naturally unfair and it’s when it’s being unfair to you that it’s actually being fair. I may not be strong but I believe that even the strong people can change the nature of life because we’re made to play the role we were born to be. Just like what Shakespeare said that life is but a big stage and we are the actors of our own drama.


He is Romeo. My Romeo

            Honestly, I never read the whole story of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet but when I met him, I guess there’s no need to open the book and understand the tragedy the couple ended with.

            I remember the first time I saw him, it was in the chapel. I didn’t know he is to be my classmate then, I just knew that I will know him. Yup, I am not kidding.

            I’ve come to know him since I’ve been a close friend of his best friend. I thought he is a serious type of guy but as time passes by I realized that indeed he is a serious one but with a sense of humor as well. The first time I took notice of him was when I heard him sing. Moreover, the way he cares for his friend is noteworthy as well.

            We came from different groups though. And even if there is no feud against his and my circle of friends, the thing is, I and his best friend quite had a little romance with each other and I even think that I am too lucky to have him (his friend) as my lover. But things didn’t go the way they should be or the way I wanted them to be. Eventually, we parted in summer.

            He was there all the while. When I was busy thinking of the man who broke my heart, he was there to make me laugh and joke around. During the time I ask him questions about his friend, he was ready with answers. One scene that I can’t forget was when he gave me the song list that I ask him to make and he suddenly pointed one song at the second page which happened to be my favorite song then. What made him do it, I keep on wondering. Fate? Coincidence? Who cares? Of course, I care. I want to know the reasons.

            During that summertime when I was left broken and depressed, he was the one who fed me with smiles and reasons to face that painful reality. Yes, by and by I felt that I am becoming better because he gave me the strength then. However, after some time, he too disappeared out of the blue. I was surprised and I was hurt but at that time I keep in mind that there’s nothing to be hurt about since he was only a friend… a special one.

            Like Romeo and Juliet, they have their own season to bloom. Like flowers left in the field, they will grow with love and trust. I guess it happened to us though I’m really not sure when. What’s important is, it happened J

            I don’t know about him, but even before we had the time to spend many moments together, I was already attracted to him. Who wouldn’t get attached to the person who mended your heart during that cold summer days? I even remember some of my friends who share with me their different opinions about him and all I can do is nod and console their one-sided love affair. I didn’t know I’ll be joining the group soon.

            We were happy with the closeness that we share. Even if we’re too close to be called as friends as what my friends say, there was no stain of malice in my conscience because I know that’s how he treats everyone, right?

            But my concerned friends warn me with the danger that I’m putting myself into. They said that if I continue what I started, everyone will look at me differently and I would also be hurting him in the process. I don’t want that.

            The affair I had with his friend was a happy thing for me then but I didn’t know it would cause such severe damage into what I am currently into. I know that if I respond to what I truly feel, it would bring issues and judgments from the eyes around us. What would he think of me then? What if he’ll realize what kind of girl I was like what the others see me to be? I don’t want to think of the aftermath, it’ll surely hurt.

            Though I didn’t know what he sees in me. Even if it’s too absurd to understand the idea of him falling for me, I hate to ask him why. I’m afraid that he’ll find out that what he feels was just because of the time we spent together that I’m sure he didn’t experience with other girls because I have been too selfish of consuming his time. Now, I’m trapped between what’s supposed to be and what will make me happy.

            Everyone and every circumstance around us are so wrong.  One says do what makes me happy while the others think of what will keep us safe. I don’t know what’s against it. Why can’t they let me love the person they say I can’t be with? It’s my heart, not theirs. However, thinking of the possibilities, it’s true that it won’t be good in the end. But who knows, right?

            Romeo died for his love of Juliet. Will he do the same?

            Juliet sacrificed everything for Romeo. Can I even dare?

            No matter how much time I ponder on the best course to take, all I see is his face – the smiling face of Romeo, my Romeo.